Breakfast on a stick

Earlier today we found ourselves in the frozen food section at the grocery store. Jim was taking an eternity to pick out ice cream. Apparently it's a difficult task. I wouldn't know because I'm not a huge ice cream fan. I know, I know—I'm a freak. I prefer sherbet. Anyway, I decided to peruse the other side of the aisle while I was waiting. That's when I came across this fine food product . . .


I almost couldn't believe my eyes. Oh to have been a fly on the wall at the meeting when Joe from product development pitched this little beauty. "Folks, we're going to show the world that we're on the bleeding edge of convenience foods. Sausage. Chocolate chip pancakes. Wonder Twinned into the FORM OF . . . a corn dog!"

Who buys these things? It's a product that no one, under any circumstances, should eat. Ever. I'm sure the fat and sugar contents are horrifying. And please note, there are FOURTEEN of the them in the package. So when you buy the box, you're making a real commitment.

The whole concept actually makes me kind of depressed, like: is this what the world is coming to? Who wants to be reminded of the state fair while they're eating breakfast?

And then I think about the poor graphic designer who had to tackle this project and I want to cry. I can't imagine having to come up with stuff like this. Do you put it in your portfolio? When you interview for your next job do you talk about how hard you worked to make sure the sausage really glistened and the chocolate chips were evenly spaced?

Thanks but no thanks, Jimmy Dean. I'll stick with my cereal. Sans stick.