Friday, June 1, 2007

A-movin' on up

I got a hot tip that I should consider moving to WordPress, so off I go. Any place where it's easy to make a custom header is the place for me. So reset your bookmarks, peeps!

Thursday, May 31, 2007

What about the middle finger?

This is interesting. Apparently I must have been exposed to more testosterone in utero because my ring finger is longer than my index finger. I did do well in math during my school years, so I suppose there is some truth to the theory. At least in my case.

But I'm wondering . . . does this also mean I am more boy-like in general? Does it explain my penchant for the Jerky Boys and hatred of chick flicks? My lack of patience in regard to shopping? My preference for dark beer? I'd love to know.

Friday, May 25, 2007

The Pie

I think I've mentioned that Jim and I have had some bad luck over the past few years. I realize that everyone encounters unfortunate and stressful events, but really. We've had more than our share. Deaths in both of our extended families, various personal and familial medical crises, financial hardships, etc. etc. etc. So it should come as no surprise that my very precious and special 9 year-old dog would be diagnosed with a bone tumor.

But I still can't believe it. ANOTHER problem? Because this dog has had WAY too many health problems in her short and beleaguered life. Maggie's vet files resemble Webster's Unabridged. It's truly ridiculous. Shall we review?

1. Severe allergies starting at age 1
Maggie's allergies cause her to scratch excessively, lick her paws incessantly, and generally be uncomfortable in her own skin. After YEARS of trying everything—countless food trials, an extensive allergy test and subsequent allergy shots (which she eventually became allergic to), making home cooked meals, buying any number of prescription dog foods, frequent bathing, less frequent bathing, and various drugs—we stumbled upon Cyclosporine. It has been a godsend. She's still a bit itchy, but at least the scratching is reduced and Maggie doesn't develop large skin boils thanks to frequent and insidious bacterial skin infections. So, bonus.


2. Brachycephalic syndrome

In short, breathing problems caused by having a squashed face. When Maggie was 2 she had a surgery to reduce her soft palate (which was obstructing her airway) and increase the size of her nostrils. Jim and I refer to this as her "nose job". It helped in a minimal sense. It also set me back about $1800.


3. Giardia

This was a real treat. No idea where she picked it up, but I suspect it happened when I boarded her. We returned home one day (after a trip to the hospital, where Jim had spent the afternoon having a angiogram to diagnose chest pain!!) to find the entire house covered in dog puke and diarrhea. It was literally in every room. On the couch, on the floor, everywhere. Poor pumpkin was a wreck and spent a couple of days at the vet recovering.


4. Countless ear infections

Thanks to the allergies. Please see #1.

5. Torn ACL

Back when she was on a steady diet of prednisone, Maggie decided to jump off the couch and tear her ACL. We later learned that steroids can weaken ligaments and make dogs more prone to such accidents. She made a full recovery, but not before I plunked down $2000 for surgery.


6. Patent ductus arteriosus a.k.a. hole in the heart

So it turns out that Maggie was born with a heart defect that we JUST discovered several months ago. In the past we had seen vets who mentioned a heart murmur, but never told us to investigate it further. So when we were referred to a cardiologist earlier this year
(who knew there were vet cardiologists?), we were shocked to find out about the heart condition. This new vet was amazed that Maggie had lived so long undiagnosed and untreated. He added 2 medications to her list of 3 other prescriptions, and seemed to think she was doing pretty well at her last recheck.

7. Arthritis

I guess this is pretty common in older dogs.


Which brings us to the latest bad news: the bone tumor in her right front leg. Our options are amputation or euthanasia. And I can't imagine putting her though an amputation. The surgery alone would be hard on her, and she's been having trouble managing on three legs thanks to #7.


I'm totally wrecked. I can't believe we have to play God and decide when Maggie is going to be put down. I had plenty of pets growing up, but Maggie is the first dog that was all my own. We've been through a LOT together: numerous moves, a career change, my divorce and subsequent remarriage. Not to mention all the health stuff. It's hard to imagine life without her. She is such a sweet little baby. Despite all of her issues she has always been a joy. So loving and incredibly stoic in the face of hardship. I've spent an insane amount of money keeping her going, but I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

We've given her loads of nicknames, which I think bespeaks her importance (you know, like how the Inuit have tons of words to describe snow and ice?). Maggie. Magpie. The Pie. Cindy the Cinderblock. The Precious. Maggenfoose. The Raisin. Mags. Margaret. Little Girl. Pumpkin.


We will most likely be scheduling an appointment next weekend to put her down. I can't remember anything I have dreaded more.



Saturday, May 19, 2007

Breakfast on a stick

Earlier today we found ourselves in the frozen food section at the grocery store. Jim was taking an eternity to pick out ice cream. Apparently it's a difficult task. I wouldn't know because I'm not a huge ice cream fan. I know, I know—I'm a freak. I prefer sherbet. Anyway, I decided to peruse the other side of the aisle while I was waiting. That's when I came across this fine food product . . .


I almost couldn't believe my eyes. Oh to have been a fly on the wall at the meeting when Joe from product development pitched this little beauty. "Folks, we're going to show the world that we're on the bleeding edge of convenience foods. Sausage. Chocolate chip pancakes. Wonder Twinned into the FORM OF . . . a corn dog!"


Who buys these things? It's a product that no one, under any circumstances, should eat. Ever. I'm sure the fat and sugar contents are horrifying. And please note, there are FOURTEEN of the them in the package. So when you buy the box, you're making a real commitment.


The whole concept actually makes me kind of depressed, like: is this what the world is coming to? Who wants to be reminded of the state fair while they're eating breakfast?


And then I think about the poor graphic designer who had to tackle this project and I want to cry. I can't imagine having to come up with stuff like this. Do you put it in your portfolio? When you interview for your next job do you talk about how hard you worked to make sure the sausage really glistened and the chocolate chips were evenly spaced?


Thanks but no thanks, Jimmy Dean. I'll stick with my cereal. Sans stick.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

And again

More Asian zoo dog/tiger madcap action. Now I'm getting cynical and wondering if the tigers' mom REALLY rejected them after birth, or if the zoo just saw a good opportunity for interspecies bonding.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Beautiful and . . . depressing

These images are pretty amazing. I find the Ben Franklin piece especially gut-wrenching. Ooof.

Unholy Alliances

No, not the Bush administration. This time.

I'm talking about the odd predilection Asian zoos have for displaying animals in random combinations. The most recent example is a French bulldog and a tiger. Last week it happened to be capybaras and squirrel monkeys. And who could ever forget the baby pigs dressed as tigers?

It's all seems so . . . unnatural. Sure, it's kind of cute and intriguing, but I highly doubt any of the animals involved would have chosen these circumstances. And reading the article about the baby pigs, you'll see that case was a mere gimmick to entice visitors. Sad.

I realize that on occasion, animals do form random bonds organically. Remember the baby hippo and the tortoise that hooked up after the tsunami? Those pictures were so cute they almost blinded me. But the situation wasn't manufactured for the purpose of revenue. (Though apparently a movie IS in the works, because nothing says cash cow like heart-warming animal story).

I keep going back to the French bulldog though. I have so many questions. Was the French bulldog actually IN the zoo? Hard to imagine, but as we recently learned, unusual dogs aren't well understood in Japan. Why a Frenchie? Was that the wackiest combination they could come up with at the time? What life lessons would a French bulldog impart? The best way to snuggle on the couch? The fine art of snoring and snorting? News articles rarely tell you what you REALLY want to know.