Of zombies and psychos

We saw "Grindhouse" last weekend, and I thought Robert Rodriguez's flick "Planet Terror" was awesome. It was everything a zombie flick should be. And Rose McGowan was great. I'm surprised she isn't a bigger name at the box office—she's definitely talented. Though it is a bit hard to get past the dalliance she had with Marilyn Manson a few years back. Because, come on. That guy is so ICK. How does he score such hot babes? I will never understand. His music is lame and the whole get-up is a complete clown show. And believe me, I'm not immune to the powers of weird schtick. I think Rob Zombie is fabulous.

But I digress . . .

Jim finds my love of movies like "Grindhouse", "Kill Bill", and "Sin City" totally baffling because there are other categories of gore and horror I can't stomach. War movies? Forget it. They totally freak me out. I get insanely upset, start crying, etc. It's because I know not only COULD such violent scenarios occur, they HAVE and will CONTINUE to occur. The thought is so depressing I can't stand it. I practically melted into a puddle of despair during "Saving Private Ryan" (which I HAD to see because it was getting so much press and was so great and blah blah blah).

I also avoid films like "Saw", "Seven", etc. There are some exceptions—"Silence of the Lambs" comes to mind. And don't get me wrong, it scared the bejesus out of me. But it was a well made film, and that fact somehow helped me cope with the residual psychological trauma. Plus, Jim and I have gotten SO much mileage out of the "it puts the lotion on its skin" line.

Basically, it's like this. Gore and freakiness that COULD potentially happen (as in a war movie or a torture flick)? Bad. Fictional, over-the-top gore and freakiness? Bearable, and sometimes even great. For example, I realize that a "Halloween" scenario is far-fetched at best, but it COULD happen. And that freaks me right the hell out. I mean, how much would it suck to be chased around a house by a freaky-mask-wearing madman? The consequences of viewing such films is Not Worth It to me. I will stay awake for hours afterwards, plotting my escape from the crazy who is undoubtedly trying to break into our house THISVERYMINUTE and kill us in a horrible way. Should I try to hit him with the bedside lamp? Should we lock ourselves in the bathroom and then jump out the window? We'd better take a couple blankets with us so we can somehow lower the dogs to the ground from the 2nd floor before we jump. Yeah, that's a good idea. And on. And on.

But "Kill Bill"? Or "Sin City"? Or even the "Grindhouse" flicks? Sure they are gory, but the gore is stylized. And they're not SCARY, per se. I don't lie in bed at night and worry that someone with a samurai sword and a saucy attitude is going to track me down so she can chop off my noggin, or that zombies are going to jump out of my closet and start eating my brains.

Anyway, I guess I'll admit that my tastes are a bit contradictory. Just call me an enigma wrapped in a riddle, sealed with kiss from a mysterious stranger.